How do I approach old age

Talking about old age is a social taboo. There seems to be a general sentiment that old age is a terrible place to be in; old age is an embarrassment and nobody wants to be embarrassed. But if you privately ask the "old" people how do they feel about being old, I am willing to bet that many feel proud of being able to get where they are. And I am one of these folks. I am a couple months from reaching 73; not really that "old." I know quite a few people who are in their 80's and 90's. So if you are approaching your 60's and are apprehensive about what's coming, listen to what I have to say.

Everyone understands, at least intellectually, that there is something called the "life cycle," that as we were born, we are going to grow up and get old and die someday. No surprise there. But emotionally we general dread it and culturally we have been conditioned to want more and expect more out of life. If life is good, we want more. If live is bad, we want to wait for it to change to the better. We just don't want it to end. To get old is to be getting close to the end of the line. I went through this process during my 50's.

More as a self defense scheme, i.e. to make myself feel better despite the inevitability of reaching death, I gradually devised a rationale and talked myself into believing it.

A little understanding of Buddhism helps too. It is a basic tenet of Buddhism that everything is continuously in a changing state and nothing is permanent: not the tree, not the mountain, not the ocean, certainly not human life. Not only life is not permanent, it is also continuously changing, literary split second by split second. The present YOU is not exactly the same YOU a year ago, or even a split second ago. In fact, every single muscle fiber or drop of blood in your body is continuously changing. I know this concept is a little hard to swallow unless you are willing to do some serious thinking about it. (You may also want to talk to a particle physicist.)

But if you are willing and able to accept this concept, that beginning with the moment you were born you have been on a journey that will end at some point no matter what, then instead of dreading old age and its inevitable end, you could get on the business of enjoying life as long as you have it. How to do that is of course dependent on your individual circumstances. It depends on your family environment, your social environment, your financial situation, your health situation, your personal interests, etc. A nice family, good health, a fat bank account and good friends will certainly help. But above all, it depends on how you decide to approach the coming of old age: welcome it or fight it.

A wealthy retiree who has a loving family, good friends and good health could feel miserable if he or she is constantly concerned that the good life on the golf course may come to an end soon. On the other hand, a bedridden poor man could feel blessed when he wakes up every morning knowing that he is a day closer to his daughter's college graduation.

For me, not only I welcome the coming of old age, I see it as a liberation. I see this as a time when I am free from many of life's obligations and be able to explore many of life's treasures which I could not before. I don't have a lot of money, but I am blessed with a good family and a fairly good health. The Internet age allows me to plunge into the world of knowledge and learn whatever I want to, not to make a living off it, but just for the joy of learning. Google is certainly a big help. Now that I don't have to report to work every morning, I also have time to exercise, to read four newspapers a day, to call up a friend to go to lunch, to tinker with small projects.. What a life.

I don't know how long this good life will last. I set an arbitrary target at 89, but I know I could go tomorrow, as people of any age could too. If I did, I wouldn't know the difference anyway. On the other hand, if 89 comes and goes and I am still alive and kicking, I will set another target. Who knows.