While I am on the matter of old age, I might as well get right to the crux of the matter: the big D, and get it out of my chest.
When we are young, life seems limitless. Even when we are at middle age, we are preoccupied with making a living, climbing the corporate ladder, growing a family, building a personal wealth, or whatever else we were busy doing; the matter of growing old is at best a distant glimpse of irrelevance. It's something too far away to worry about. But as time passes, that shadow of old age looms larger every year; and behind that shadow, another, a more ominous one, also appears.
Each individual will have to develop his or her own way to deal with the issue, of course. I just want to lay out my own way to look at it. By so doing, I don't pretend to tell anyone how he/she should treat the matter. Also, discussing the big D inevitably touches on the matter of religious belief, or the lack of it. Again, my religious view has a lot to do with how I deal with the big D, but I don't pretend to influence anyone into adopting my own belief.
Each of today's major religions in the world claims it has THE only real maker of the Universe, and provides some form of life or continued existence after the end of the life on Earth. Christianity provides for Heaven and Hell. Basically the good people go to Heaven and the bad people go to Hell; but those who follow God will be forgiven of their sins and will go to Heaven. (I must admit I am no Bible scholar and this is just a layman's understanding of the matter.) Islam also provides for a life in God's Kingdom after the end of life on Earth. In fact, in Islam life on Earth is but a trial period for the real, eternal life afterwards, when a just God rewards those who believed in him and served him well, and punish those who didn't.
Buddhism doesn't provide an all-mighty maker, but provides for a system of ever-evolving reincarnation, in which a life is "recycled" eternally so there is always life after "death" as the way Nature works. The catch is this: If a person is good by Buddhism standards in this life, he/she will be reincarnated into a good life, most likely in human form, the next time around; if a person is bad by Buddhism standards, he would be recycled into a hard life in human form, or a lower form a life, such as a pig or a mouse or even a single-cell amoeba. The above, obviously, is but a gross oversimplification of the matter.
I do believe that the idea of life after death in Christianity and Islam and the reincarnation system in Buddhism do have a salutary effect on this world; and I believe that that is why they were invented to begin with. They serve to persuade people in this world to behave well and to get along with one another harmoniously. So I think the promise of a good life after death is good if it can achieve that goal. In other words, that is a good trick, but a well-intentioned one.
Now what do I believe? I am not a Christian; I am not a Muslim; I am not a Buddhist, although I do subscribe to a lot of its precepts. I am a Unitarian-Universalist because this is the only spiritual school that I feel comfortable associating with. In terms of the G issue, I consider myself an agnostic: Nothing has persuaded me so far that there is a God; but I am not sure that there can't be some kind of omnipotent force that is responsible for creating and maintaining this world, either. Further, I don't believe we can know the answer for sure in this life; and I don't want to waste my time looking for it.
Is there life after death? I will find out when I die. If there is, I will have to face it whatever it is like. If there isn't, I wouldn't know the difference anyway.
The biggest problem is, of course, the anxiety one has before it comes. How long am I going to live? In what way am I going to die? etc. I don't believe I can possibly know, and I don't want to know. As long as I am healthy and continue to enjoy life, I wish to live forever. But I do accept the fact that life is limited and will end somehow. Whenever life ceases to be enjoyable, there is no point in prolonging it. Government rules notwithstanding.
There are obviously many other aspects of this issue, which I can't possibly address totally at one sitting. I do want to hear others ways to look at the issue. Please comment by talking about your way to look at it.
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Mar 9, 2008
Feb 29, 2008
How do I approach old age
Talking about old age is a social taboo. There seems to be a general sentiment that old age is a terrible place to be in; old age is an embarrassment and nobody wants to be embarrassed. But if you privately ask the "old" people how do they feel about being old, I am willing to bet that many feel proud of being able to get where they are. And I am one of these folks. I am a couple months from reaching 73; not really that "old." I know quite a few people who are in their 80's and 90's. So if you are approaching your 60's and are apprehensive about what's coming, listen to what I have to say.
Everyone understands, at least intellectually, that there is something called the "life cycle," that as we were born, we are going to grow up and get old and die someday. No surprise there. But emotionally we general dread it and culturally we have been conditioned to want more and expect more out of life. If life is good, we want more. If live is bad, we want to wait for it to change to the better. We just don't want it to end. To get old is to be getting close to the end of the line. I went through this process during my 50's.
More as a self defense scheme, i.e. to make myself feel better despite the inevitability of reaching death, I gradually devised a rationale and talked myself into believing it.
A little understanding of Buddhism helps too. It is a basic tenet of Buddhism that everything is continuously in a changing state and nothing is permanent: not the tree, not the mountain, not the ocean, certainly not human life. Not only life is not permanent, it is also continuously changing, literary split second by split second. The present YOU is not exactly the same YOU a year ago, or even a split second ago. In fact, every single muscle fiber or drop of blood in your body is continuously changing. I know this concept is a little hard to swallow unless you are willing to do some serious thinking about it. (You may also want to talk to a particle physicist.)
But if you are willing and able to accept this concept, that beginning with the moment you were born you have been on a journey that will end at some point no matter what, then instead of dreading old age and its inevitable end, you could get on the business of enjoying life as long as you have it. How to do that is of course dependent on your individual circumstances. It depends on your family environment, your social environment, your financial situation, your health situation, your personal interests, etc. A nice family, good health, a fat bank account and good friends will certainly help. But above all, it depends on how you decide to approach the coming of old age: welcome it or fight it.
A wealthy retiree who has a loving family, good friends and good health could feel miserable if he or she is constantly concerned that the good life on the golf course may come to an end soon. On the other hand, a bedridden poor man could feel blessed when he wakes up every morning knowing that he is a day closer to his daughter's college graduation.
For me, not only I welcome the coming of old age, I see it as a liberation. I see this as a time when I am free from many of life's obligations and be able to explore many of life's treasures which I could not before. I don't have a lot of money, but I am blessed with a good family and a fairly good health. The Internet age allows me to plunge into the world of knowledge and learn whatever I want to, not to make a living off it, but just for the joy of learning. Google is certainly a big help. Now that I don't have to report to work every morning, I also have time to exercise, to read four newspapers a day, to call up a friend to go to lunch, to tinker with small projects.. What a life.
I don't know how long this good life will last. I set an arbitrary target at 89, but I know I could go tomorrow, as people of any age could too. If I did, I wouldn't know the difference anyway. On the other hand, if 89 comes and goes and I am still alive and kicking, I will set another target. Who knows.
Everyone understands, at least intellectually, that there is something called the "life cycle," that as we were born, we are going to grow up and get old and die someday. No surprise there. But emotionally we general dread it and culturally we have been conditioned to want more and expect more out of life. If life is good, we want more. If live is bad, we want to wait for it to change to the better. We just don't want it to end. To get old is to be getting close to the end of the line. I went through this process during my 50's.
More as a self defense scheme, i.e. to make myself feel better despite the inevitability of reaching death, I gradually devised a rationale and talked myself into believing it.
A little understanding of Buddhism helps too. It is a basic tenet of Buddhism that everything is continuously in a changing state and nothing is permanent: not the tree, not the mountain, not the ocean, certainly not human life. Not only life is not permanent, it is also continuously changing, literary split second by split second. The present YOU is not exactly the same YOU a year ago, or even a split second ago. In fact, every single muscle fiber or drop of blood in your body is continuously changing. I know this concept is a little hard to swallow unless you are willing to do some serious thinking about it. (You may also want to talk to a particle physicist.)
But if you are willing and able to accept this concept, that beginning with the moment you were born you have been on a journey that will end at some point no matter what, then instead of dreading old age and its inevitable end, you could get on the business of enjoying life as long as you have it. How to do that is of course dependent on your individual circumstances. It depends on your family environment, your social environment, your financial situation, your health situation, your personal interests, etc. A nice family, good health, a fat bank account and good friends will certainly help. But above all, it depends on how you decide to approach the coming of old age: welcome it or fight it.
A wealthy retiree who has a loving family, good friends and good health could feel miserable if he or she is constantly concerned that the good life on the golf course may come to an end soon. On the other hand, a bedridden poor man could feel blessed when he wakes up every morning knowing that he is a day closer to his daughter's college graduation.
For me, not only I welcome the coming of old age, I see it as a liberation. I see this as a time when I am free from many of life's obligations and be able to explore many of life's treasures which I could not before. I don't have a lot of money, but I am blessed with a good family and a fairly good health. The Internet age allows me to plunge into the world of knowledge and learn whatever I want to, not to make a living off it, but just for the joy of learning. Google is certainly a big help. Now that I don't have to report to work every morning, I also have time to exercise, to read four newspapers a day, to call up a friend to go to lunch, to tinker with small projects.. What a life.
I don't know how long this good life will last. I set an arbitrary target at 89, but I know I could go tomorrow, as people of any age could too. If I did, I wouldn't know the difference anyway. On the other hand, if 89 comes and goes and I am still alive and kicking, I will set another target. Who knows.
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